Thursday 1 September 2016

Much Aggravation.

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. Joseph Campbell

I don't like phones.  Phones are for extroverts.  Phones are for people who like talking to no purpose. Worse, they are an open invitation to people you would otherwise never speak to ~ like telemarketers.

Now we do have a national *DO NOT CALL* registry & we are on it.  Much good it does us.  We still get calls. They ring at dinner time.  Or when you're in the shower.  Or on the way out the door; here on your way out the door to catch a boat.

They aggravate me so much my phone manners have deteriorated. I was taught to answer the phone with the number & So & so speaking. Now I go: Yo? until I know who's on the other end. Then I speak bad French. Je ne comprends.  I refrain from the swear words they wouldn't understand anyway.

The older I get the less tolerant I am becoming of things that annoy me. Telemarketers annoy me. For one thing they are outsourced to countries who think they speak English but so accented it doesn't matter whether they do or not.  I still can't understand them. Often I can't decipher that one voice amongst all the background noise of a busy call centre either. As if it mattered.  I don't want what they're selling anyway. I don't want to donate to their charity.  I want to be left alone.

While I'm on the subject I loath being refered to as Mrs. I am NOT Mrs Anybody.  For one thing I don't generally use titles.  For another I kept my maiden name so refering to me by my husband's name infuriates me unreasonably.  That is my Mother in Law & she does not live here. Mrs My Name is my mother & she doesn't live here either. You don't know me: why are you calling me?

So you can imagine my joy on finding my internet provider has outsourced their technical support. *sigh*  I do not need someone apologising every other sentence.  I do not need an explanation as to why I am being asked to pull out my splitter. I do not understand no matter how you put it. I do not need some young techo inferring I am an idiot; I already knew that; that is why I am calling you.   I am old & grumpy.  All I need to know is Can you help me? & What do I need to do? as quickly as possible, Thank you! I don't want to be on the phone talking to you. I don't know you. I want my internet back... you know that place you can talk to people & they can't talk back ~ or at least where you can ignore them at your pleasure. That place.

No, my problem is not fixed despite much aggravation. I am looking at my phone as if it were some venomous snake. There should be a law against technology malfunctioning. Why isn't there?

2 comments:

  1. There are times I will get as many as four calls a day. I like telemarketers...they are so much FUN! I like to get them to hang up on me, but I warn you that they often use bad language before they do it. Every time I try a new approach: long lost cousin...how are your kids; which window are you talking about; micro-what, is that some kind of nerd talk; the computer is not the problem, can you help me fix my TV; so can we go back to how I turn the power on; it is so nice to meet you, have you met the Son of God; you should just say "no" to drugs and stop peddling them; and hello........(say nothing else and put a radio on). The last one is my favorite and usually ticks them off the most because they can hear you have not hung up or they think it is your answering machine, either way worth it.

    The way I look at it is the more time I make them spend on me going no where, the less time they have to bug someone else and maybe they will get a real job and the the crooks will give up on using this approach.

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  2. lol The speaking French or German is worth it. First they try repeating their English. When I continue to rabbit in French they get really confused. THEN they hang up! lol By then they are usually mad & frustrated.

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